How to give feedback

Few months ago I attended to a class at a small community college close by. This class was about how to give feedback to others. I think this is something very important specially when you are a manager or a leader. I think you should know how to give feedback but not only that you should also teach your teammates how to do the same.

I have work with so many people from different walks of life and one of the things I have always heard the most is how feedback has been given to people in the wrong way. I have heard stories after stories how managers, immediate supervisors, parents, coaches have put people down by giving negative feedback, delivering the right message but in the wrong way and giving the feedback in front of others making people feel small. Think about it, how would you feel if that happens to you time after time after time?

I was excited about hearing new ideas, new opinions from teachers and other students on how to make a difference by wanting to learn how to give positive feedback and also how to deliver negative ones.

I like to start asking first What is a compliment? Because people need to know the true meaning of the word compliment.

A compliment is a polite expression of praise or admiration. Politely congratulate or praise (someone) for something.

Now the next question is What is a criticism? Because the same way we give compliments we also tend to give criticism and we must know the meaning of both.

Criticism is the expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes. The act of passing severe judgment.

Now after knowing the meaning of a compliment and criticism I am going to dive in to the title of this blog.

What is feedback? Well feedback is the return of information about the result of a process or activity. A dialogue between two people which reflects how another person sees someone else.

Feedback can be positive or negative. Feedback has more information about what to do about a situation

The purpose of a feedback is that if you are off track we can bring you back on track

And also if you are doing a good job we want you to keep doing a good job.

We need to give more feedback. Be meaningful and specific.

Why are people reluctant to give feedback? You should ask that question to yourself. Why are you reluctant to give feedback? Pause for a moment and think.

What can feedback help to accomplish? When we asked that question in class these were some of the answers.

● Better work product

● Strong people

● Team work

● Efficiency

● Trust

● Relationships

● Prevent turn over

● Confidence

● Career plans

Now what helps to make feedback effective?

●Specific examples/situations.

●Feedback one on one.

● Open door policy.

People need to know that feedback is a gift. You should treasure it. I remember all the times throughout my life where feedback was given to me. Feedback has made me a better person.

I played sports growing up, guess what feedback was given to me all the time. I had some coaches and teachers be more direct than others and guess what? The ones that I had more respect for are the ones who were direct, tough on me and guided me to where I needed to be. I personally didn’t like soft coaching however I respect the people that were tough but never put me down and most of all never gave up on me.

Blind spots: Feedback shrinks the individuals blinds spots by giving us the benefit of what others already know that is inhibiting effectiveness.

The people who care about you may not tell you your blind spots fearing to offend you/hurt you. Open up and ask for their feedback and get enlightened.

Here is a Feedback Equation

ASK: are you open to feedback

OBSERVE: State what you saw

Effect: Share the effect it had on you, team, customer

SUGGEST: suggest alternative behavior

DISCUSS: come up with an action plan

When you __________ it makes me feel_________. In the future I would appreciate it if you would_____________.

Effective Treatment Plan

DO Describe the situation/behavior

DO Acknowledge  impact on department

DO Give in timely manner

DO Give feedback in private

Do check for understanding

Do say “I felt” or “I was” to frame impact

Do focus on a single message- DO NOT save up a bunch of stuff and unload all at once

Do be sensitive to the emotional impact

74% of people you give feedback to already know what you are going to tell them.

Be nice, give feedback, ask for permission, share ideas, be compassionate and never put someone down just for your satisfaction. Help others get better. I know you can do this.

God Bless,

Jani